How are you? Have you had a good week? I do hope that you are well and have a relaxed weekend.

This week, the biggest thing in my life is that I have to make a big choice. I am lucky that to be offered two opportunities to study international business administration in two American universities in Ohio and Chicago. The first one is organized by the Shenzhen City government for one year. The second one is organized by one of the best universities of China. It will offer a studying for one year and a working opportunity for another year.

I am in a big contradiction for the hard choice so that my throat and head are in pain now. After all, if I would, I would give up my current work and learning and I would learn 12 lessons within 12 months.

Also, I am smiling when I am facing the choice. It was really a big wish of mine to have an opportunity to study administration in an advanced country since I was major World Economy and International Business Administration for 5 years while I was carrying some heavy working duties. After being a manager for years, since 1996, I started to fly to Shanghai in most of my holidays and weekends for 3 years for I did not think that my language and literature educational background would support me to work for a long time in the financial information industry and there were not many universities to offer graduated student lessons in Shenzhen then. Sometime, I flied 3 cities one day. I was the only student that went to the classroom by airplane. Then, since 2000, I started to learn international business administration for my doctoral degree for 2 and half years. Very often, I rushed into the classroom with an empty stomach after cooking ok for my son. Then I rushed into a night market to buy food after my class. I had not entered any movie house and the biggest park within the first 11 years since I came to Shenzhen.

I am smiling also for the huge changing of China and the funny feelings in my heart. To learn some thing in a Western university, as my son does, was just a too far away dream when I was young as him. The Chinese gate was closed, I did not have a financial ability and not a good English level to support me to go abroad then. Right now, the gate of China is opening. I have had a financial ability and an English level already. But, I have to think of the opportunity cost and time cost, my own dream and my personal life as a woman, instead of a manager only.

After thinking and thinking, I have made a basic decision. I would like to give up the opportunities to learn how to be a best manager in the U.S. It is really a pity on my career road. It is also another opportunity to learn the other things that I really love from my childhood, to work on something more realistic with my limited life.

After all, the partner company of the cooperated project of our company is just from the U.S. If it is successful, it will bring the company a revolutionary reform and be a summary of my career life. If it is failed, I will retire ahead and to do something I have no time to do now, or maybe I will go an art or music colleges in China or abroad?

I know clear that it is not easy for me to make a big achievement in a single painting, music, language field. But, if I can combine painting, music, calligraphy, poem, Chinese culture and modern technology together, maybe I can create a unique model with my own knowledge copy right in Chinese language learning field. After all, I was major Chinese language and literature for 5 years and be a college teacher for 9 years. Along with time, something has been clear day and day in my mind. I can really do many things in this field.

As a woman who has gone over for so many working years alone, I would really like to go back home or make 50% of my time at home in the near future. To create something new and to be a true woman, instead of a manager for whole of my life.

How do you think of my thought? Have I made a stupid or a smart choice? If you were me, what would you choose?
I am just a learner on art, music, English, French and the work on the web site in my free time. Anyway, I would really like to do a little bit things with what I have learned to make this little web site to be An Electronic Bridge Of Culture Exchange, Friendship and Language Learning. During the process to help the others and to improve myself.

I do appreciate your understanding, directions and supports. I do hope to get your great help continuously now and in the coming time...

If you have any questions, comments or suggestions, please write to shirley@ebridge.cn or shirleyz004@yahoo.com. You are welcomed to publish your opinions in the forum.

Shirley
Written and Edited on Sun, June, 17, 2007