How are you? Is everything well with your first days of this week? .

Today is the 72nd day that I am in the US. Since last Saturday, I have experienced the most difficult 5 days.

First of all, I have met the biggest difficulty on my studying of Financial Management. I could understand the main meaning of the statement part of my textbook. I could not understand many formulas and the calculation process. I felt very difficult to understand the content of the professor. So, I got up at 6:30 am, 5:00 am or 4:30 am to read my text book and I wished to be a bird to fly earlier. But, I could not resolve my difficulties by myself indeed.

I would like to find a tutor to help me and to rely on the Internet much more. So, I made many telephones to ask help whole of Saturday, until 8:00 am this morning, I did my last effort, but, my Internet was broken on Saturday once more and I have not found a local tutor before our first examination this afternoon. You can imagine what would happen to me…

Secondly, I was facing an important choice, to give up my studying as a MBA student and to go back to my original life style according to my original plan, to be an artist of painting, music and language or to keep working under the difficult situation, to complete my studies here? Saturday night, I chose giving up with tears…

The leaders of the college responded me with a very thoughtful solution quickly. It made me feel warm, mean while, it made me feel some perfect amalgamation of the strict and the flexibility of the American Education,

However, when I saw my textbook that I wanted to finish, but have not been finished yet; when I saw the formulae that I wanted to understand, but have not understood, when I thought the words of the board chairman of our company “ To study well in the US, there will be a very big room for you after you come back to China”; when I thought my 3 birthday parties by my bosses, colleagues, friends and our American work partners on the days I just got my Visa and before I left for the US. When I thought why they sent me here and their much hope and expectation to me while they are standing my work that I should do at this time. Can you imagine? They are still keeping my office there. When I recalled so many smiles of many colleagues in my birthday party, so many songs that they had sung for me, so much bless words and so many hugs to me… I did feel that I was wrong. I felt shame for my choice. I had many reasons to give up, but, the root reasons was I could not solve the difficulties that I am facing…

After making sure what is the problem, I felt my mind clear much more. So, today, I started to ask help from the professor, the tutor of the project. Now, I have gotten some good responding. Dr. Rogan ? our professor of this lesson would like to help me in person. Mr. Gong Xiaoou is working on finding some tutor for me. One of my friends Dr. Chen is making a plan to help me in N.Y… It seems like the sky has ? re-changed bright blue suddenly. The road has re- changed wide, too.

Yes, since I am not a foolish person, why I can not master the knowledge that the others can? Since I am a manager who carries some responsibilities on my shoulders, how can I give up when I meet some difficulties? Since I have known where my own knowledge blank is, why not catch the good opportunity to patch it?

Yes, of course, if I choose to learn much more professional knowledge here, I would certainly lose some opportunities on my own dream of painting, music and language. But, since I was sent by the company, since the company supports me to study here, to be loyalty to my mission maybe is important more than an individual dream. So, even though I have had some degree that is higher than MBA, even though I feel very difficult right now and I will meet some lesson more difficult in the near future, I would like to keep doing my best, to complete my studies that my company and my motherland wished I do.

When I write here, I do feel that my mind is getting clear and I have known what I should do already. My heart has recovered peaceful. I am sure that I will not tear as I often did in the past 5 days. I will face the difficulties and the challenges with a very positive attitude and try to learn the knowledge that I should master as well as possible.

The biggest gain that I have gotten in the past difficult 5 days is that I have met some true friends. American Chinese professor Dr. Liu just came back to the US from Beijing to visit his wife and children, advised me to keep and he spent 2 nights to tutor me over a long distance telephone from San Francisco, even though he thought that to tutor me was difficult more than got a Nobel Reward. Just because of his tutor, I realize that I can master the knowledge as long as I work on it, the problem except I had no a good math foundation, I did not do my best to read the book was also an important reasons.

I can not forget that Saturday morning, when I could not connect Internet in my home and in a square of a church, I wanted to find a wireless connecting there while I could not understand the problems and find a person to help me, so that I could not help tear in my car... I got a telephone call from a classmate, she invited me to their home to connect Internet and she told me that Heidi would like to share something that she knew with me even though she also felt difficult to understand these questions. Jan has been keeping send some Chinese data to one by one; Aileen always answered my questions with a big bright smile. Amy is the person often called me and reminded me to eat and sleep in time...

I will also remember, it was the two schoolfellows that are young as same as my son -- Li xiaoming and her husband Shenzhou, catch the last 30 minutes before they went to work, to came to tutor me in the wind and snow…



Now, it is 4:36 am on my side already, I know I should go to sleep early and to use more time on my textbook, but, I do need to make my mind clear at this time to make a right choice. Writing is the best way to help me. I think, I have known the answer...

How do you think of my choice? If you were me, would you do the same choice?
I am just a learner on that art of painting, music English and Chinese language, to work on the web site in my free time. I would really like to do a little bit things with what I have learned to make this little web site to be an Electronic Bridge of Culture Exchange, Language Learning & Friendship. To help the others while to improve myself.

I appreciate your understanding, directions and supports. I do hope to get your friendly help...

If you have any questions, comments or suggestions, you are welcome to write to shirley@ebridge.cn or shirleyz004@yahoo.com, or to publish your opinions in the forum.

Shirley Yiping Zhang
Wed, Dec 10, 2008 From USA